(1/26/11)
On Indefinite Hiatus. Please leave for now.
(12/6/09)
bitterness and maturity
Saturday, April 30, 2005
sometimes it’s pretty hard to decide (well, this truth holds whenever you wake up in the morning and choose which clothes to wear.)
more often than not, we are forced to decide on something. it’s not pretty hard for as long as you choose something for you (and concerns noboody else)
…then here comes those people whose survival will rely on your hands…
how do you decide on helping someone who chose to abandon you in the past, without any hint of regret because of other things he’d prefer having than his own family?
how dare that person to even consider asking us to take him to our home, the home he deliberately left all along to give way to his selfish reasons? after all he has done to us. was it because he realized that he had wronged us and wanna say sorry?
sadly,no. he’s not even in his right, conscious mind anymore. but i really couldn’t care any less. the path he chose to walk has long been outside of my concern for the longest time. he knew all along what he was getting into. i find no reason for him to make a detour.
life is unfair. he pushed me to that deep sea. i have been drowned by the consequences of their actions. i was made to pay for the mistakes i did not commit. i have struggled to find a floating tree trunk to grab on to. i have tried my best to pull me out of that bitter sea. and i believe i have succeeded. now his own wrongdoing has pushed him down to the waters where i came from. as i gasped for whatever air is there to
breathe, how i’ve waited for the day to make him feel what it was like to be betrayed by your own blood. now i’m here. i sit as i watch him slowly go deeper to the oblivion of the ocean. this is what i’ve been waiting for. and i’m going to enjoy every second of it. i even imagine looking at myself eating popcorn as i watch him drown, screaming like a girl hoping that someone will try to save his pathetic life. i’m here. i’m here now. and i have the option to watch him die alone.
but i can’t.
life may not be very fair. and although what he’s having right now will never be enough to tantamount what he deserves, i just can’t. despite the anger, the bitterness, i just can’t. don’t ask why. if i did know the answer to that then i wouldn’t have written this on my blog.
this is against my better judgment. i don’t abhor you any less. just be thankful that i’m not like you.
welcome home, dad. happy father’s day you SOB.
Previous Comments
good for you. 
I’m afraid this doing this makes me bitter all the more. it seems to me that the nicer a guy is, the more screwed he will be.
Posted by TBB at October 1, 2008, 8:53 amgood for you.
___>I’m afraid this doing this makes me bitter all the more. it seems to me that the nicer a guy is, the more screwed he will be. >___
You cannot be happy if you would’nt let go of all the bitterness/sad moment in your life.
Being nice is a choice, so if a man is a loser in his belief, he chose that.
Remember, the omnipotent person in ourself must be ourself, no one else.
A nice mean hears what is wrong and right. If in a journey, he happened to walk wrong, he should know how to search for the right path.
Posted by Hornet at October 2, 2008, 12:33 pmAfter A While
©1971 Veronica A. Shoffstall
After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn
that love doesn’t mean leaning
and company doesn’t always mean security.
And you begin to learn
that kisses aren’t contracts
and presents aren’t promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of woman,
not the grief of a child
and you learn
to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow’s ground is
too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down
in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
you really are strong
you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn
with every goodbye, you learn…
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Posted by chinese tea at June 11, 2011, 8:50 pm
An old saying, no matter how bad your own blood, it is where you came from..maybe the reason why you want to scream for revenge but your heart refuses….because your heart is warm, it helps your mind to cleanse the pangs of angerness and bitterness of the past.
The destiny of a man were based from how he survived every challenges, unfortunately some of the people we hope who would help became the barriers; this lead to deep pain and sometimes we felt quitting, dead-end.
I had been those days when I felt my self a trash, so then I hate summer days…im nothing than zero but I learned to be more productive by letting go of the past but carrying the lesson I have learned.
Posted by Hornet at September 30, 2008, 12:49 pmI may not be successful as Bill Gates nor famous than Madonna but in my own belief..I am myself…simple but proud.