Answer Me This

I observed the little beggars frolicking around the exterior of the church walls, asking the faithful for alms. Some would say that they don’t have any spare change. some would turn away, I would even move around so that they don’t get near enough to beg me for alms. I have some coins, yes, but I’m not giving them. Well, I’ve already given them some before, and I don’t want them to bug me every Sunday because they thought I’d be that generous. I give what I can to the church, however, since I can see with my two eyes that they are spending the collected funds for the less fortunate in our area. I know that my spare change would do better in their hands, rather than seeing the kids buying solvents (rugby) or gambling with the exact coins that I gave. The Church teaches to give alms to the poor. This morning, I turned away from them. Did I commit the sin of omission?

If i remember it correctly, the Catechism of the Catholic Church differentiates sins by gravity (mortal or venial), and by participation (commission and omission). A sin is classified as commission if it there was an active participation to the sin (hence, if the act was committed) The sin of omission, again as I recall, is the act of not participating to either prevent the sinful act, or ignoring a moral obligation. To put things to perspective, commission is when someone deliberately runs over a person across the road, and omission is when the people did nothing to help the poor victim.

Now, consider this:say  I try to help an old lady cross the street, but she shooed my good gesture away because she says that she’s not that old and she’s feels insulted.Just right after I leave her behind, a bus hits her dead-on-the-spot. Now while watching her blood slowly draining away from her feeble body, I can’t be so sure, but for a brief moment, I though her eyes met mine, just before the last of her consciousness leaves her mortal shell.

Question: during that  brief moment, what could our eyes have possibly said to each other?

Will my eyes say "I told you so.."? Possibly not. I don’t wanna be right. Well, at least not about this. Will I say "Why didn’t you listen?" I tremble at the thought if that’s what I would tell her — because I know she will answer me back with a question that will keep me haunted for life…

"Why DID you listen to me?"

Well she did refuse my kindness. I shouldn’t force her if she doesn’t want it.I can honestly tell everyone that I tried to help. No one can possibly blame me.But who am I kidding? Am I not as guilty?At the end of the day, just how will I answer this question? I knew she was frail. I knew she needed help. Why did I allow myself to abandon her with just one blabber? Had I been a little more stubborn (pasaway as Filipinos would term it), would have I made a difference? Because if it would, I can live with that old woman hating me forever if that means saving her life. The thing I hate the most, is now, there’s no way of knowing for sure.

My student R.Manzano (see you in heaven, buddy) remembered me saying that the biggest problem in the world would have been solved when it was still small. Had you been in my place…will you just watch an unattended campfire blaze to destroy a forest?

I can’t. And I’ll do everything to prevent it from happening. So I ask for my friends’ forgiveness if I seem to go overboard. Maybe I don’t know what I was thinking. Maybe I just wasn’t thinking, period. Maybe you’re right. But no matter what you say, I don’t have the heart to be that man in the story. I just can’t leave you alone. I can’t sit when something is to be done. So hate me– I can live with that. If that means keeping you alive.