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Losing the Romance

Monday, May 26, 2008

I received this through my e-mail a very long time ago. This is more or less a “positive” example connected to a previous blog entry entitled The Arrogance of Tests. The latter didn’t turn out as touching as this was.

I hope women out there would be able to gain a new perspective on what they truly want in life, just as the original author did, who happens to be a woman by the way.

Here goes… 

 

My husband is an Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature,and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders.

Three years of courtship and now, four years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness.

I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a
relationship and my feelings, I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My husband, is my complete opposite, his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love. One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.

“Why?” he asked, shocked. “I am tired, there are no reasons for everything in the world!” I answered.

He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thought with a lighted cigarette at all times.

My feeling of disappointment only increased, here was a man who can’t even express his predicament, what else can I hope from him?

And finally he asked me:” What can I do to change your mind?” Somebody said it right, it’s hard to change a person’s personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him.

Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered : “Here is the question, if you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind, Let’s say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death, will you do it for me?”

He said :” I will give you your answer tomorrow….” My hopes just sank by listening to his response.

I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting, underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the front door, that goes….
My dear,

“I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to explain the reasons further..”

This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading.

“When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen, I have to saved my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs.

You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you.

You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city, I have to save my eyes to show you the way.

You always have the cramps whenever your “good friend” approaches every month, I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy.

You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by
infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom.

You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails, and help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand… and tell you the colour of flowers, just like the color of the glow on your young face…

Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do… I could not pick that flower yet, and die.. “

My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting… and as I continue on reading…

“Now, that you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favorite bread and fresh milk…

I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread….

Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone…

That’s life, and love. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of
excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness.

Love shows up in all forms, even very small and cheeky forms, it has never been a model, it could be the most dull and boring form.. . flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands… and that’s our life… Love, not words win arguments…

Anonymous 

Posted by bitterbastard at 8:12 am | permalink

Previous Comments

wow.. this is awesome.. i like it.

Posted by rose at May 27, 2008, 7:14 am

i went all teary eyed on this piece.

indeed, this entry made me realize the constant emotional roller coaster women go through equal to the constant longing of assurance of love from their partner/husband.

women like me (of course, i too speak for myself) are more succumb to feelings/instincts/pressures that are sometimes mere fiction than reality that lead us to impulsive decisions that we too aren’t sure of. talk about our complexity.

but just like a woman complements a man and vice-versa… man on the other hand, i think, concluding from this piece, are more of the less talk and do more kind of person. they may not be that expressive or vocal of their feelings but they sure are keen on the purposes/intentions of their actions towards people important to them…

kudos to this! i am definitely going to watch out for more of your interesting blog entries…

Posted by chiclatte at June 2, 2008, 11:48 am

@ rose:

yea i like this piece myself. i rarely appreciate women’s mushy writing. it stresses a point that a lot of good guys would like girls to understand.

@ chiclatte

all this entry says is that we should not confuse love for romance. glad you liked it as much as i did and thanks for hopping on to my blog.

Posted by TBB at June 3, 2008, 11:28 pm

wOw!..huhu..
very heartwarming..
i went aLL teary eyes on this pIece..
;)

Posted by xxviii ;) at June 8, 2008, 10:57 pm

nice one tol..
sNa lahat nG girLs n bA2sa nito,
will have better understandings..!
keep it up.!!

i like the attitude when you write it..

i feeL yOur dedication..

gODbLess..!

Posted by lOser_07 at June 10, 2008, 2:01 am

thanks loser but I’m afraid I can’t take the credit ’cause I didn’t write this piece. but yeah, i really hope this can bring a different perspective to women out thereto appreciate what really remain when all romance fades

Posted by TBB at June 10, 2008, 6:38 am

i really got teary eyed, it is true though they tend to overlook those little things you do. they always want those grand things that they think we don’t care for them. i feel what the husband has felt.

a very nice piece by the way.
i read your other entry bitter bastard
a very good blog i might say.

Posted by smoreskisspanda at July 13, 2008, 9:43 pm

thank you, smoreskisspanda, much appreciated. :-)

Posted by TBB at July 13, 2008, 9:47 pm

wow…you replied, well not really replied but whatever hello by the way. i just feel for the husband.

your blog is an eye opener and it really raises some questions on my mind. i am also inspired by your entries. I really like your name, bitter bastard. a catchy one at that.

Posted by smoreskisspanda at July 13, 2008, 10:09 pm

hey smoreskisspanda. i just hope that you’ll be luckier than i was.

Posted by TBB at July 13, 2008, 10:18 pm

hey, you are lucky you got your mom, siblings and friends and so do i. we aren’t unlucky. this are all just challenges. this challenges, when we overcome it builds are character. it also teaches us a lesson. i am just trying to see the goodness in everything no matter how hard it can be. i don’t want to be cynical. and don’t think that I’ll be luckier than you because all of us are one way or another lucky to able to live, even if we feel pain…it just reminds us that we are still human.

TBB i salute you man!

Posted by smoreskisspanda at July 13, 2008, 10:36 pm

i beg to differ. :-)

Posted by TBB at July 14, 2008, 6:24 am

i do sound like a hypocrite. :) )

Posted by smoreskisspanda at July 14, 2008, 9:43 am

that’s not exactly what i had in mind. you sound more like someone…well, luckier (which I think is a good thing.) Each one of us has his own stories to tell and i’m cool with that.

Posted by TBB at July 14, 2008, 11:05 am

do i sound like someone luckier? maybe…but no i am not. anyway i still like your blog. that is what matters. go go bitter bastard. go go sago! :D

Posted by smoreskisspanda at July 14, 2008, 10:34 pm

nah you don’t like my blog, you just like the fillers but i don’t mind haha

Posted by TBB at July 14, 2008, 10:38 pm

fillers? haha. if i don’t like your blog, why do i read it? if i can just stare on those fillers. keeping quiet now.

Posted by smoreskisspanda at July 15, 2008, 12:26 am

to naman di mabiro! hihi peace!

Posted by TBB at July 15, 2008, 6:17 am

dude it’s okay…lol.
peace po tayo. good day to you bitter bastard.

Posted by smoreskisspanda at July 15, 2008, 5:58 pm

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