Stars and Fireflies

Tonight, the apparent positions of Venus and Jupiter seemed to have fallen along the same celestial parallel. Immediately below those is a waxing crescent moon where the bottom area was illuminated(or was that waning, i didn’t follow the cycle). That wasn’t poetry– that’s Geodetic Astronomy’s way of describing what people saw as a smiley in the sky.

How wonderful it would have been to see that smiley. I would have wanted to see the hope that all the other people has seen. Some said that it was God’s sign that everything is gonna be all right.

The eyes were bright. The smile was there, but no smiley. I can’t seem to find that which everyone’s talking about. Was I the only one who missed to see the face smiling back at me tonight?

I always liked star and moongazing. When I was 7 years old I think, my father and I would set up an astronomer’s telescope on our terrace together, taught me how to use it, and showed me exactly what to see out there. We didn’t talk about Big and Little Dippers–I understood them as Ursa Major and Minor. We talked of nebulae and comets and meteors and asteroids. That was perhaps why I dreamed of being an Astral Physicist (I didn’t know what they actually do but I’m guessing it’s really cool).The thought of how vast the universe is and how much there is to see fascinated me as a child, and it still gives me the natural high, for over 18 years now.

But when it’s time for bed, after our night prayers, my mother would make me first look out the window. She said that God listened to our prayers and sent angels to visit us–and yes, outside, around a hundred fireflies shimmer gently right through our window. Some are small enough to manage get in to the crevices of our screen window and would fly inside our room as it quietly glowed and   dimmed out. I would follow its flight with my hand until it lands on my finger. The dim light coming from it lulls me patiently to sleep. Much as I would like the firefly to stay, my mom would tell me that it’s time to let go of the little angel so it can make visit other children. So I will let go.

I knew they weren’t angels. The chemical that makes them glow is luciferin, yet it felt so warm to think that there were angels watching us over our sleep. I have long forgotten what it felt like. Perhaps it was a sense of peace that only innocence can take pleasure from.

This is why I enjoy walking along a village full of Christmas lights (just the non-colored ones). They are so reminiscent of the fireflies that I once fancied. Those were one of the better days during an imperfect childhood. But those are just lights, and it can burn houses down if not wired carefully.

Tonight, the people have seen the angel in my firefly. I wish to see a sky filled with stars, and a night full of fireflies once again, hoping that this time, the smiley will not be so hard to find, anymore….